If you’ve ever thought an ESPN broadcast sucked you’re not alone

If you are honestly entertained and you laugh genuinely at some of the current ESPN broadcasts you need to start demanding more out of the world.  For real, like if you still get all of your sports news from ESPN you are behind on the times.  Maybe it’s just me, but the boring-ass, straight-forward delivery has gotta change.  Fox Sports 1 had the right idea, but they kinda just came with more of the same.. and Regis Philbin??

It’s my opinion that TV in general suffers from censorship so this is not a fair evaluation, but a lot of the stuff on ESPN nowadays sucks.

ESPN is run by pussies and if that word offends you, yes, I would consider you a pussy.  About a month ago an ESPN company email was made public by an anonymous employee.. the email was from an exec asking anchors to stop using the word “sucks” because it can be offensive… I’m sorry, what?  They release statements everyday apologizing for their crew and suspending their anchors for doing anything besides reading lines off a prompter.  These poor anchors have to apologize for having an opinion.  Maybe this is less an ESPN problem and more the FCC, but since I don’t know what goes on behind the scenes I’ll pin it on ESPN.

Even the guys hired to give opinions are forced to conform to only provide those opinions that are “suited” to TV.  I hate this movement into an era where you can’t say anything because you might offend someone.  And even if you don’t mean to, if what you said could possibly be misinterpreted as offensive you can be held liable.  I’m sorry but fuck that.

Television is supposed to be entertainment and I guess I’m just not entertained by watching two dudes on the morgue waiting list tell politically correct jokes and read their opinions off of teleprompters.  Give me more Charles Barkleys and Dan Patricks (2 guys that don’t work for ESPN).  Give me anyone that speaks their mind.  I think it’s hilarious the way ESPN suspends their anchors when they upset a viewer with their comments like a parent throwing a kid in timeout.  DP said the hell w/ ESPN and jumped ship.. now he’s got his own television radio show broadcast on like 20 different channels on DirectTV.

I’m pretty certain that if Sage Steele and Kevin Negandi missed their next broadcast and just disappeared forever the world wouldn’t even notice.  Adam Schefter’s work is remarkable.. he hears about trades and signings before they even take place.. but he’s a behind-the-scenes guy, he sucks in front of the camera.  I know he’s not completely dull because he will make jokes on twitter but the best part about watching an Adam Schefter segment is either seeing him stand up (he goes at about 5’5”) or watching him choke to death on air. Link: http://youtu.be/hIEnFVuHFZI  The rest of the ESPN football crew is pretty solid so I’ll back off (I’m one of the few that don’t hate Trent Dilfer.. and yea Matt Millen sucks, but whatyagonnado?), although the college crew leaves something to be desired.

The ESPN baseball crew.. do I even need to go into detail on this one?  I think I will. The sport of baseball is on the downhill as is ESPN’s baseball crew.  What I mean is that literally they are so old they might die mid-show.  Wouldn’t be surprised if when they turn to Peter Gammons he is actually reporting from his nursing home.  A sweet old man but not fun to watch.  Bring in somebody fresh for god’s sake.  Nomar was a good addition.. even if he does pop wood talking about swing planes and fielding mechanics.  Watching Baseball Tonight on mute is about as good as watching Baseball Tonight with sound, with the exception being when John Kruk chimes in with his 2 high-pitched cents.  Also, if you listen closely I think you can actually hear him sweating.  It’s been the same format forever… homeruns, diving catches,  discussing when Ryan Howard will return to form.  There’s not a kid in America that wants to watch Tim Kurkjian and Oral Herschizer talk about anything.  Move on ESPN, change it up.  Baseball is not that boring that you couldn’t interest kids in a television show about it.. I’ve seen some of the shows these kids watch.. doesn’t take much to keep ‘em entertained.

Imagine… ESPN’s baseball crew as lively and entertaining as their football crew or TNT’s basketball crew.  That would be TV worth watching.  Does anyone remember the series Playmakers?  I can’t remember if it was actually good but it was definitely entertaining.  Sports are part of the entertainment business.  Maybe this is just me, but I find myself slowly moving to other outlets to get my sports fix.

ESPN 8

My suggested fix:  Give me the ESPN 8 “The Ocho” crew and run nothing but “This is Sportscenter” commercials.  And give Barkley his own channel.

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