Transgender “woman” suing Crossfit for $2.5M b/c she wants to compete against women

Link to article: http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/07/us/transgender-lawsuit-crossfit/index.html

This is a joke right.  The article reads like this: some dude wants $2.5 million dollars because he chopped off his wiener?  He/she/it claims “discrimination, intentional infliction of emotional distress and unfair competition” in a lawsuit filed this past Thursday.

I’ll touch on all 3 claims.

  1. Discrimination – I don’t know what went on to make this guy think he was discriminated against but I have to assume the only discrimination is that he feels like he should be allowed to compete against women because he believes himself to be a woman.  That’s not discrimination bro, that’s common sense.  People born with penises compete against each other and people born with vaginas compete against each other.  This for a reason.. and no that reason is not to offend or discriminate against you.  Get over yourself.  I’ll add that it is possible that actual discrimination took place but theres no humor in that so I won’t go into it.
  2. Intentional infliction of emotional distress – This has to mean intentional infliction of emotional distress on himself right?  No one did this to him.. he did it to himself.  I think people that get the ol’ hotdog-swap procedure are hilarious and don’t try n tell me it’s wrong to make fun of people for that sort of thing.  If you dress like a woman people will stare at you and talk about you.  Anytime you do anything to attract attention to yourself people are going to stare and talk about it.  I really, really hope this dude didn’t try to work in anything about being gay because this has zero anything to do with that.  This has to do with some deranged, psychopath chopping off his clam hammer and pretending to be a woman.  I’m totally for people having the right to do this to themselves but don’t try n tell me you’re a woman.  You’re a dude and you know it.  I’m even okay with you “identifying” as a woman, but in no way should you be able to compete as a female athlete.
  3. Unfair competition – Okay bro, at this point you’re just not understanding.  The unfair part is that you are a man (which means superior strength/athleticism) so it’s not fair that you compete against women.  Go ahead and act like you’re a woman and do all woman things, but no way do you get to win medals for beating women.

My solution:  CrossFit says “sorry, but you have to compete against men because that’s what you are”.  Or shit, let the dude compete with the women but don’t let him get a medal.  And then prescribe this guy some heavy psychotherapy to bring him back to reality.

Final thought:  I sort of hope this guy wins and gets to compete with women, but then he just gets slammed and annihilated by the competition.  Also.. take a look at the “chick” on the left and tell me that’s not a man.  

the one on the left used to have a penis

the one on the left used to have a penis

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Ronda Rousey is getting just a little too confident

Ronda Rousey says she could beat Money Mayweather in an MMA fight.. probably doesn’t actually know who Floyd Mayweather is.. I mean she’s got to be talking about some other dude coincidentally named Floyd Mayweather, right?  I get that she’s probably never lost a fight to another girl, but to suggest that she could take down the world champ (in 3 different weight classes, I’ll add), the most successful (didn’t say best, I said successful) pound-for-pound fighter in the modern history of prize fighting… just stupid.  Delusional.  If she thinks she can beat Mayweather then she is literally saying she could take down any man in the world at his size.  I don’t care if she has 50 pounds on him (she doesn’t btw, she’s smaller than him), no chance in hell Mayweather even hits the canvas.

The better bet would be whether or not she could even land a punch.. and I’m dead serious.  Mayweather isn’t known for being a knockout guy, but you can bet your bottom dollar Rousey is knocked out cold in this one.  She’s hot and she can fight, but the odds of her winning this fight are less than the odds that I’ll make the NBA.. and I have a pretty sweet mid-range jumper.

rousey

Child Dies From Infected Pet Rat Bite; Family Sues Petco

(JULIE WATSON Associate Press) A San Diego family is suing Petco after the death of their 10-year-old son from a bacterial infection they say he contracted from his pet rat.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/child-dies-infected-rat-family-sues-petco-22671659

I’m as Team America as the next guy but this is pathetic for all parties involved:  the family, Petco, the writer, us readers, the lawyers.  No winners in this one, just losers.  Why in a gajillion years would you buy your kid a pet rat?  And if you’re buying rats you gotta know this is a possibility…  When I think rat my mind goes straight to a disgusting disease infested rodent.  What the eff is Petco doing selling rats to kids anyway?  I’m going to assume they were meant to be fed to snakes or something… Just retarded all around.  Plus, what kind of weirdo kid plays with rats and thinks its acceptable to have a rat pet?

If you are the lawyer representing the family whose kid was killed by a rat bite this means two things.. you’re life sucks and you probably aren’t a very good lawyer because you’re taking wrongful death cases dealing with rats biting kids.  Also, you’re a scumbag.  I think we can all admit the legal system is a little fudgy at best.

This article just screams contemporary America.  For all the things I am proud of in this country I am equally ashamed of the crap like this that is all over the news.  As much as I feel bad for the parents that lost a child, they need to share the blame.  Please somebody take a look at this picture and explain to me why any sane human would buy their child one of these as a pet.  And a note to any parents out there reading.. if you’re really fed up being a parent just buy your kid a pet rat and let nature take its course.

This picture has disease written all over it

This picture has disease written all over it

If you’ve ever thought an ESPN broadcast sucked you’re not alone

If you are honestly entertained and you laugh genuinely at some of the current ESPN broadcasts you need to start demanding more out of the world.  For real, like if you still get all of your sports news from ESPN you are behind on the times.  Maybe it’s just me, but the boring-ass, straight-forward delivery has gotta change.  Fox Sports 1 had the right idea, but they kinda just came with more of the same.. and Regis Philbin??

It’s my opinion that TV in general suffers from censorship so this is not a fair evaluation, but a lot of the stuff on ESPN nowadays sucks.

ESPN is run by pussies and if that word offends you, yes, I would consider you a pussy.  About a month ago an ESPN company email was made public by an anonymous employee.. the email was from an exec asking anchors to stop using the word “sucks” because it can be offensive… I’m sorry, what?  They release statements everyday apologizing for their crew and suspending their anchors for doing anything besides reading lines off a prompter.  These poor anchors have to apologize for having an opinion.  Maybe this is less an ESPN problem and more the FCC, but since I don’t know what goes on behind the scenes I’ll pin it on ESPN.

Even the guys hired to give opinions are forced to conform to only provide those opinions that are “suited” to TV.  I hate this movement into an era where you can’t say anything because you might offend someone.  And even if you don’t mean to, if what you said could possibly be misinterpreted as offensive you can be held liable.  I’m sorry but fuck that.

Television is supposed to be entertainment and I guess I’m just not entertained by watching two dudes on the morgue waiting list tell politically correct jokes and read their opinions off of teleprompters.  Give me more Charles Barkleys and Dan Patricks (2 guys that don’t work for ESPN).  Give me anyone that speaks their mind.  I think it’s hilarious the way ESPN suspends their anchors when they upset a viewer with their comments like a parent throwing a kid in timeout.  DP said the hell w/ ESPN and jumped ship.. now he’s got his own television radio show broadcast on like 20 different channels on DirectTV.

I’m pretty certain that if Sage Steele and Kevin Negandi missed their next broadcast and just disappeared forever the world wouldn’t even notice.  Adam Schefter’s work is remarkable.. he hears about trades and signings before they even take place.. but he’s a behind-the-scenes guy, he sucks in front of the camera.  I know he’s not completely dull because he will make jokes on twitter but the best part about watching an Adam Schefter segment is either seeing him stand up (he goes at about 5’5”) or watching him choke to death on air. Link: http://youtu.be/hIEnFVuHFZI  The rest of the ESPN football crew is pretty solid so I’ll back off (I’m one of the few that don’t hate Trent Dilfer.. and yea Matt Millen sucks, but whatyagonnado?), although the college crew leaves something to be desired.

The ESPN baseball crew.. do I even need to go into detail on this one?  I think I will. The sport of baseball is on the downhill as is ESPN’s baseball crew.  What I mean is that literally they are so old they might die mid-show.  Wouldn’t be surprised if when they turn to Peter Gammons he is actually reporting from his nursing home.  A sweet old man but not fun to watch.  Bring in somebody fresh for god’s sake.  Nomar was a good addition.. even if he does pop wood talking about swing planes and fielding mechanics.  Watching Baseball Tonight on mute is about as good as watching Baseball Tonight with sound, with the exception being when John Kruk chimes in with his 2 high-pitched cents.  Also, if you listen closely I think you can actually hear him sweating.  It’s been the same format forever… homeruns, diving catches,  discussing when Ryan Howard will return to form.  There’s not a kid in America that wants to watch Tim Kurkjian and Oral Herschizer talk about anything.  Move on ESPN, change it up.  Baseball is not that boring that you couldn’t interest kids in a television show about it.. I’ve seen some of the shows these kids watch.. doesn’t take much to keep ‘em entertained.

Imagine… ESPN’s baseball crew as lively and entertaining as their football crew or TNT’s basketball crew.  That would be TV worth watching.  Does anyone remember the series Playmakers?  I can’t remember if it was actually good but it was definitely entertaining.  Sports are part of the entertainment business.  Maybe this is just me, but I find myself slowly moving to other outlets to get my sports fix.

ESPN 8

My suggested fix:  Give me the ESPN 8 “The Ocho” crew and run nothing but “This is Sportscenter” commercials.  And give Barkley his own channel.

Someone please take Ben Gordon off our hands

Gonna keep this short n sweet:  If the Heat or Sixers or whoever else are seriously pursuing Ben Gordon then let’s get this guy the hell out of here.  The trade deadline is less than a week away which hopefully means we only have to put up with a few more days of Ben Gordon and his shit contract.

He’s currently averaging 14 minutes per game.. which is equivalent to the number of millions of dollars he is making this season.  Thats no joke, Ben Gordon is making $13.2 mil this season and for what exactly?  When people say Carlos Boozer has the worst contract in the NBA it’s because they don’t know Ben Gordon is making 13 mil.  If 13 million bucks only buys you a backup 2 guard with a bum knee who shoots under 30% from 3 then our economy is seriously fucked.  Oh, and did I mention he whines.  Yeah, somehow the dude making major corporation CEO money to play games (well to be at games) complains about his job.  I’m honestly surprised he has any trade value whatsoever.  And that’s not to say he can’t contribute to another team but his time in Charlotte has been a failure.  He’s just as ready to move on as we are.

All of this being said I feel like I’m probably jinxing it by even putting this out there but it had to be done.

Ben Gordon ripoff

This Wells Report should not shock anyone

It’s very hard for me to imagine a locker room situation in professional sports that doesn’t include some sort of harassment and vulgarity.  Like very, very hard.  These are pure-bread, alpha males with egos the size of Kaepernick’s nose.  It’s no secret Incognito is a dirty player and trash talker. He’s the type of guy who, if asked to describe himself in one word would no doubt choose “Badass”. He wants to break you, he wants you to lose it, that’s giving him a competitive edge.  That being said, I have no doubt he got some enjoyment out of picking on the admittedly weaker minded Martin.  But for anyone familiar with football to even try to act like Incognito is a monster and an exception to the norm in any NFL locker room is just ignorant.  My favorite player of all time, Steve Smith, twice cold clocked his own teammates.  Thats “whole ‘nother level” bullying.  In Cam’s rookie season you could see Smitty rip his chin strap off and verbally abuse the rookie on a weekly basis.  A little different, I know, but if you can’t see how this sort of stuff could happen behind the scenes you’re probably blind to a lot of things.  Literally, there was never a team I played on that didn’t have at least one kid that got picked on.  The claims by Incognito’s lawyer that the Wells report is full of lies is a lie in itself, but Martin’s side handled the situation poorly as well.  The kid just cracked, he was playing poorly and being made fun of and he just bottled it all up.  That can’t be easy but he was immature in the way he responded just as Incognito was immature in his treatment of Martin.  All this being said.. this stuff happens in every clubhouse in the country, no matter the sport.  Can we please stop pretending to be so taken back by this.. baseball is about to start and the US is making a run at a gold medal (Hockey, no other winter olympic sport really matters).  How the f**k does a story about a grown man being picked on make headlines over the thousands of storylines playing out during the Olympics.

Bottomline: Nothing that this million dollar report found should shock anyone.  They could have paid me $5 to tell them what 6 months of PI work and legal investigation came up with.  

Richie Incognito

Northwestern kids wanna get paid

So some nerds up north decided they want to band together to try and get paid to play college sports.  Basically they want they want to strike to make the NCAA amend its holy constitution to allow schools to pay student-athletes.  Maybe I’m completely wrong here, but why is it the NCAA’s fault that athletes (on scholarship, I’ll add) aren’t paid to play?  Isn’t this the NFL/NBA’s fault?  I mean aren’t they the one’s with the rules restricting kid’s from going pro?  Like this whole time all I hear is “screw the NCAA, these poor little kids”, blah, blah, blah.  Let me point out that athletes in college live the good life.  Play sports, 12 hour semesters during the season, free meals, unlimited pussy/partying, special treatment left and right, and oh yea… FREE tuition and board.  I can’t help but feel that some of the blame falls on the leagues.  I do see the other side of the argument and it really it ridiculous how much money the NCAA pulls in each year from these sports, but the blame has to be redirected at some point.  The NCAA isn’t the one banning kid’s from play pro football or basketball.  The MLB doesn’t give two shits how old you, they’ll sign a 12-year-old pre-pubescent dominican boy that dropped out in the first grade.  And sure college baseball sucks, but they allow kids to make a living.  Isn’t there some sort of FCC or FTC or whatever government administration has been put together to deal with this sort of crap that can stand up and lend a hand here.